For a long time I quite fond of telling who got on my nerves what they could do, namely – kiss my ass. One particularly bad day I had to tell several people to kiss my ass. It was a day when I was very busy and didn’t really have time to stand there waiting for the next person to kiss my ass. So I started taking names and making appointments and trying to figure out how to fit it into my schedule.
Eventually not even that worked because I was becoming busier and busier and missing appointments and forgetting to write down names so I had to hire a full-time line monitor. This is working out a little better for me.
Now when someone gets on my nerves, rather than dropping everything and pulling down my pants god knows where so that someone can kiss my ass, I tell them that the line to start kissing my ass is down the hall and to the left*.
Once there, my dutiful line monitor Tracy takes their name and shedule’s an appointment. I show up once or twice a week, drop trou and everyone’s happy… well maybe not the person who there to kiss my ass but then again, they should have thought about that before they pissed me off.
Oh and… if you ever find yourself having to stand in this line – make sure you left and not right. You don’t even want to know what you have to do in that line that starts down the hall on the right. Trust me.